Technically, I joined the Boston Metblogs team twenty-five days ago.
For the last twenty-five days, I’ve not slept a wink. Instead, anxiously sweating my nights away, draft after draft of “Boston Metblogs First Post” littering my floor, I’ve fallen prey to one of the most crippling bouts of writer’s block in my life.
And I’ve tried everything. I sank myself into a deep, Fitzgerald-esque inebriation, hoping to loosen my tongue and facilitate the words. I attempted to invoke Poe with a hazy night of opiate indulgences and merely ended up ordering a cheese pizza. Stream-of-conscious notes failed me, only dredging up the most painful memories from the abyss of my psyche.
Writing in a turtleneck didn’t work. The French beret I bought was too big, but it probably wouldn’t have worked either. Writing in the nude certainly did not work. Taking up smoking could not alleviate my struggle, and now I’m developing a cough.
At times, it felt as though I were a forgotten cosmonaut left over from 1975, endlessly floating through the eternal midnight of space, praying to the Holy Ghost for a black hole to put the young fool to rest. Desperation had set in. Two nights ago, I almost posted the entire first book of The Odyssey as my own work. The next morning, I hit rock bottom when I came to the absurd conclusion that jogging would remedy my ailment.
I’m going to be fired, I thought to myself. They’re going to call from Los Angeles and not even be formal about it: “You’re gone. We brought you on board twenty-five days ago and you promised us three posts a week. You haven’t published a word. Pack your goddamn bags, kid, and get outta here. We think you’re a qualitatively bad person.”
Have you ever been fired from an unpaid writing position on a blog network? It can only be the most terribly degrading of experiences.
Hopefully, it won’t get to that point.
My name is Michael. I’m a Massachusetts born-and-raised, twenty-something-year-old. I’m just wrapping up the move to beautiful Somerville, Mass., where I look forward to bringing you the word on all things Boston.
If you’re interested in subscribing to my posts via RSS, the feed is:
Thanks for reading.